you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
