i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
