Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
