i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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