Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
