...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
