Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
