She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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