Are we in a gay sports bar?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
