First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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