I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
