Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
