We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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