____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
