My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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