Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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