it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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