Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
