I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
