I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
