Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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