the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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