You're completely useless in the revolution.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
