In America we eat man semen.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
