Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
