I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
