Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
