Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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