Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
be right there i have to get my cape
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
