So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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