Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
