I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
