Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
