I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
