Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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