As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
