I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
