Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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