Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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