I want to have your abortion
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
