If i come over, it means nothing
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
