Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
