You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
