Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Randomize
