i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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