upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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