Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
