We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
