Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
