what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize