It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
