K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
