you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
