I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize