are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize