She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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