She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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